This is Freaking Important

Hey, you guys,
I just want to say that I may or may not move my blog to my own website. I really really do love every single one of you guys who stumble across my blog. And I mean it. But I really would like to get to know you guys. Especially the random people from France who view my stuff sometimes. Because that's pretty awesome. And that one person from Germany and the guy from Malaysia, can you guys tell me about yourselves? Why you read? What you'd like to see? I like you, so don't think I'll judge or anything.

Sincerely,
Mint

Some Guidelines for PG PDA

Face it— you've at least once gotten a dirty look for kissing someone in public. Even though you and your special one probably enjoy getting all weird in public, it's really not so great for everyone who's watching. So if you're going to show some public displays of affection, you might as well check yourself before you lose the respect of everyone ever.

Don't touch the date below the neck, with the exception of arms. Just imagine their disembodied head and arms flying around with you, and keep that in mind whenever you're thinking of stroking or 

Kissing. Make it less than a second. Because you shouldn't be all gross in public. That's just wrong.

NO pet names. What do you want to do, kill us? No “muffins” or “mows” or “baby goliaths” or “angel tears.” Stop doing that, it's nasty and it makes everyone want to tie you to a stake and burn you. Phil's parents used to call each other “booby,” and that was just twisted.

Sharing food is okay, but do NOT share spaghetti. You can share any other pasta, cake, fruit, or vegetable BUT spaghetti. Spaghetti on a date is just seen as a pathetic attempt at being a cute cartoon couple. 

Be careful what you wear together. We've all seen those couples' shirts that force you to stand next to the love of your life for every single second of the day to avoid being accused of adultery. But sadly, whenever a couple walks by with the “he's/she's mine” shirts, fate stops at nothing to break them apart.

Remember that you're not in a movie. You guys remember that scene in The Fault in Our Stars where Hazel and Gus kiss in the Anne Frank house, and everyone clapped? Be real. Nobody's going to clap if you're kissing in the Anne Frank house. That's just wrong. This also goes for doing things like 

• whispering

• giggling 

• and grasping each other dramatically.

At a restaurant, occupy the whole booth. So you two lovebirds go into a restaurant, say a diner or something. You ask for a booth. Then while everybody groans because you took the last one, we hate you so much more when you two sit on one side of the booth. It's your job as a human being to sit on both sides of the booth. It's just so evil, it's so hard not to just rip one of you out and stuff you into the other side. 

Pick the right moment. You are officially the worst person in the world when you kiss at someone's wedding, or when someone accepts a proposal, or when you see animals nudging each other or whatever. It's wrong and you know you're completely messed up. Fix yourself.

Don't walk on the sidewalk. Unless, of course, you're going to walk single file, or walk at a normal pace, do not ever hold hands while walking on a sidewalk. Some people have places to be.

Use your head. Imagine your little brother or sister's there to wack you over the head with a pillow if you are ever remotely indecent. Be nice to the poor souls to have to watch you and your nuzzling. Just don't make it too gory.

Signs You're the Friend Nobody Likes

Before you even finish this sentence, please click on this link to the everything disclaimer.

And assuming that you didn't bother to read that, just don't try to deny the fact that you probably fit all of these signs and you're that friend nobody likes. That means there's something wrong with your friends. Not you. So enjoy.

Directions: Use anything within 10 feet of you to score yourself for each sign that applies to you. Be honest— if you have to spend time convincing yourself that one of these signs doesn't fit you, give yourself a point.

Ready? Yes you are.

You're the first one to fall asleep at the sleepover {1 point}. Give yourself an extra point if everyone else writes on your face or pranks you while you're sleeping. 

You're the guy who gets the drinks. Always {1 point}. 

You rely on someone's little brother to make you feel like a part of the group {2 points}.

Someone's little brother is accepted as a member of the group more than you are {5 points}. Give yourself an extra point if you're still the one getting drinks, even when the little brother is tagging along.

If you go to the movie with your friends, you can actually remember what the movie was about {2 points}. Do you remember 

• the actor?

• the main character's name?

• the movie title?

• whether the movie was bad or good?

Give yourself another point for each detail you remember.

That embarrassing photo of you was posted but you were the only one who wasn't tagged in it {2 points}.

You actually chat with your friend's parents from time to time {4 points}.

Your friends only listen to be polite {1 point}.

If you've been on a three way phone call,

• you've considered hanging up

• you've hung up

• and no one noticed

• and no one confronted you

• or you were about to hang up and you heard them talking about you

• or while you're there, no one says anything interesting

Give yourself a point for each thing that's happened to you.

Your friends randomly break out into song and you just sit there awkwardly {1 point}.

You're always the one holding the camera {1 point}.

Nobody knows that you're hosting the party {3 points}.

You're not in the same fandom that they are {20 points}. Give yourself 50 more points if you support a rival ship.

You shop at Hot Topic {1 point}.

You don't shop at Hot Topic {1 point}.

Your friends laugh at everyone else's jokes but yours {1 point}.

You only like walking in pairs; three or more is too much {1 point}.

You're always available for texting {3 points}. Give yourself an additional 3 points if you respond right back if you've been waiting for them to text you for hours.

You have to fake laughter at an inside joke {1 point}.

They add you to group chats— by accident {3 points}.

They forget your birthday {1 point}.

You know something changed but you can't put your finger on it {5 points}.

You feel lonely when you're with them {10 points}.

You would rather spend time with a jar of mayonnaise than with them and their stupid snobby face holes {10 points}.

You can't figure out who in your group of friends is the friend nobody likes {20 points}.

Hi, you guys, I'm back! Thanks to all of you who waited (the holidays are nutty) and I hope the New Year won't beat you up like the last one did. This post was all for laughs, though, so thanks for NOT getting angry while reading. Love you Xx <3